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Patients and Patience...

Hello Hello! Nurse Mike up in the hizhou. Today I've spent my lunch break exploring the depths of my phone, specifically the voice recorder, for some of the most dynamic moments of my life captured on audio tape. The result? Stumbling on a new song I forgot I had written from March 2015.... Finding a full version of "Barstow", and being reinvigorated by the suite of songs that came to me the winter of 2014. I had a minor epiphany today... while in one of the offices of a doctor I work for and the same stupid song comes on the radio AGAIN and AGAIN and AGAIN.... it dawned on me that I'm no different than these others. It's so easy to be put down by strangers or inhibitions. I feel like since I drove 3000 miles to get here (well, 5,000 on my route!), I talked myself into it with every inch I drove west. And since I've been here, every second I've talked myself OUT of believing in my music. It's not a mistake that I have had 250+ songs come through me by a force I wish I could explain. It's not a coincidence that I took the risk and overcame many, many odds to be here. It's not an accident that without a single lesson, I consider myself to be fairly decent with lyrics, many instruments, and harmonies/ideas. And lastly, when I worked at Best Buy I heard all the time from people, "Man... something about you. You gotta get to California- you should be in pictures!" Today I had 2 patients tell me that... an old Filipino man who was being seen with his wife at the office and a 92 year old white woman in a wheel chair who shyly whispered it to a coworker of mine first. I have the most supportive and wonderful girlfriend and mom in the whole world. So... I am writing because I'm going to try and stop being shy. It takes some others sometimes to remind you of who you believe yourself to be. It shouldn't take that.... but it's human to need that. I like being different. I don't really know how to be normal and I hate sliding under the radar. I will do my best to no make every moment of my life be a waste of potential... but maximize gifts, dreams/, work, and sheer luck/timing. I don't want to prove the whole world wrong like so many people say. I'm out to prove the ones I'm closest to and the polite strangers and beautiful souls I've met along the way right!

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